Bryan Garner

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 07.11.16

* In case you haven't been keeping score like we have, these are the firms that recently raised salaries: Duval & Stachenfeld; Seyfarth Shaw; and Foley & Lardner. If you’re worried you’ve missed any of our coverage on pay raises, check out our omnibus 2016 salary chart where we collect these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law] * Lawyers are "the best-paid writers in the world," so grammar god Bryan Garner suggests they emulate one of the greatest language snoots of them all: the late Justice Antonin Scalia. Garner identifies with Scalia's textualism because "[he] believe[s] that words have meaning, and that we should take them seriously." [Wall Street Journal] * According to constitutional law scholar Dean Erwin Chemerinsky of UC Irvine Law, SCOTUS may be at a turning point since the next president will likely be able nominate up to four justices. "Whether you see yourself as conservative or liberal ... this affects all of us, our most intimate and important aspects of our lives." [Los Angeles Times] * Lawyers for Led Zeppelin are seeking about $800K in costs and legal fees for their defense of the seminal rock band in the "Stairway to Heaven" copyright infringement suit. Peter Anderson, the band's lead counsel in the case, claims that his $330 per hour rate is "actually below" the going rate for this caliber of high-profile work. [Ars Technica] * Venezuelan authorities have arrested a woman connected to Mossack Fonseca, the firm at the center of the Panama Papers scandal, for allegedly being "in charge of seeking customers to invest illicit funds in outsourcing-type business arrangements." She's been charged with illegally obtaining funds in violation of banking regulations. [Reuters]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 11.16.15

* Is Andrews Kurth facing a possible mega-malpractice judgment? If you know more, please drop us a line. [MahanyLaw] * Elsewhere in Texas, a UT law student stands accused of leading an intimidation campaign against a professor of Israel studies. [Legal Insurrection] * Advice from our columnist Keith Lee on how to write an excellent legal memo. [Associate's Mind] * Did Michigan prosecutors pressure the state’s crime lab to falsely classify the origins of THC the lab was testing? [The Intercept] * An interview about interviews: Richard Hsu interviews Bryan A. Garner about Professor Garner's famous series of interviews with Supreme Court justices. [Hsu Untied] * Does your employer offer assistance with student loan repayment as an employee benefit -- and should it? [Tuition.io]

By David Lat
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 12.31.14

* In protest, the NYPD has adopted a policy of only making arrests "when they have to." Shouldn't that have been the policy all along? Maybe this petulant protest is a good thing after all. [New York Post] * Michigan banned college athletes from unionizing. Which makes sense because this is an amateur activity that couldn't possibly afford to pay the students taking risks on the field. In other news, on the exact same day the state of Michigan agreed to pay $5 million a year to the guy who will yell at those same kids. [M Live] * Do you want a Bryan Garner Bobblehead? For charity? Of course you do. [Law Prose] * Boies Schiller steps into the Octagon. [Yahoo! Sports] * Lawyers are sneaking religion into court much more frequently these days. [What About Clients?] * More fallout from the California Bar Exam results. [Bar Exam Stats] * The D.D.C. declined to enjoin Abd Al Rahim Hussayn Muhammad Al Nashiri’s military commission trial. Professor Vladeck thinks this decision is dumb. [Lawfare] * While we're on the subject of law professors dissing dumb legal arguments, Professor Barnett has some real problems with Nebraska and Oklahoma trying to use Raich to sue Colorado. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Why the f**k should you care about net neutrality? Here's why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8bV8IhbRrQ

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.04.14

* "[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia." Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog] * For the third year in a row, Cooley Law graduates have mostly failed the July administration of the Michigan bar. So much for it being a "highly prestigious" law school. [Crain's Detroit Business] * In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the "most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable" and "sexual torture." That's just lovely. [LAist] * Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily] * "Does it really surprise me? Not all that much." University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5] * In case you've been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law's managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it's been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]

By Staci Zaretsky
Canada

Morning Docket: 11.28.14

* John Altorelli, the finance lawyer who allegedly had an affair with sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman, is indeed screwed -- he's the second former Dewey & LeBoeuf partner to file for personal bankruptcy in the wake of the firm's collapse. [American Lawyer] * Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had a heart procedure on Wednesday, left the hospital yesterday and should be back on the bench on Monday. [CNN] * Canada's newest Supreme Court justice, Suzanne Cote, is no stranger to the spotlight; she's worked on high-profile cases like the investigation into Justice Lori Douglas (of nude photo fame). [How Appealing] * Michele Roberts, leading litigatrix and former Skadden partner, is settling into her new job as executive director of the National Basketball Players Association. [New York Times] * Newly released deposition testimony from Bill Cosby will probably only worsen his PR woes. [Associated Press] * Stuck in the office today with nothing to do? Take this fun exercise to test your punctuation and copy-editing skills, designed by Bryan A. Garner. [ABA Journal]

By David Lat